Chapter 4
Pushing was harder than anything I’d ever imagined.
And I’d imagined it a hundred times.
In my daydreams, Ryan was there.
Holding my hand.
Whispering encouragement.
Counting with me.
In reality, it was Margaret.
And she was better.
She didn’t flinch when I screamed.
Didn’t complain when I crushed her fingers.
Just kept telling me how strong I was.
How proud she was.
How much this baby was already loved.
“You’re doing great, honey. One more big push. I can see the head.”
Dr. Chen’s voice was calm.
Focused.
“Big push, Emily. Come on.”
I bore down.
Every muscle screaming.
And then…
Relief.
Followed by the loudest, most beautiful sound I’d ever heard.
A baby’s cry.
“It’s a boy!” Dr. Chen announced.
A boy.
I had a son.
They placed him on my chest.
Warm.
Slippery.
Perfect.
“Hi,” I whispered. “Hi, baby.”
He quieted instantly.
Just snuggled against me.
Margaret was crying.
Dr. Chen was smiling.
The nurses were cooing.
For ten minutes, everything was perfect.
I forgot about the mall.
About Vanessa.
About Ryan’s lies.
There was only me and my son.
Then the door opened.
Ryan stood in the doorway.
He’d heard the cry.
His face was a mess.
Red eyes.
Pale skin.
Like he’d been running.
Or crying.
Or both.
“Emily?”
Margaret stood up.
Blocking his view.
“Not now, Ryan.”
“Mom, move. I heard the baby. I need to see—”
“You need to get out of this room before I make you.”
Ryan looked past her.
Saw me holding the baby.
His face crumpled.
“Is it… what is it?”
“A boy,” I said. My voice was hoarse from screaming. “You have a son.”
He took a step forward.
Margaret didn’t move.
“Mom, please. That’s my baby.”
“Your baby?” she spat. “Which one? The one Emily just had? Or the one Vanessa is carrying? Because I just met her. She was in this room ten minutes ago. Holding paternity papers.”
Ryan went completely still.
His eyes darted to me.
“Vanessa was here?”
“Paraded right in like she owned the place,” Margaret said. “Told me everything. Seven months. Five months pregnant. A girl. Did you think I’d never find out? Did you think you could keep two families forever?”
Ryan leaned against the doorframe.
Like his legs had given out.
“I was going to tell you. After the baby was born. I didn’t want to stress Emily out.”
“Too late for that,” I said. “She showed up at the mall. Then she showed up here. Your secrets have a way of finding me, Ryan.”
He looked at our son.
Tears streaming down his face.
“Please. Let me just hold him. Five minutes. That’s all I ask.”
I looked down at the baby in my arms.
He was sleeping now.
Peaceful.
Oblivious.
He had Ryan’s nose.
I could already tell.
“Five minutes,” I said.
Margaret looked at me like I’d lost my mind.
“Emily—”
“Five minutes, Margaret. Please.”
She stepped aside.
Ryan walked slowly to the bed.
Like he was approaching a wild animal that might attack.
I lifted the baby slightly.
Ryan took him.
Held him like he was made of glass.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Hey, buddy. I’m your dad.”
The baby stirred.
Opened one eye.
Then closed it again.
Ryan sat in the chair Margaret had vacated.
Just stared at our son.
For five minutes, nobody spoke.
Then Ryan looked up at me.
“I’m so sorry, Emily. There are no words. I know that. But I am. I was weak. I was stupid. And I ruined the best thing that ever happened to me.”
“You ruined more than that,” I said. “You ruined Vanessa’s life too. And this baby’s. And your daughter’s. They’re going to grow up knowing their father couldn’t be honest with anyone.”
He flinched.
“I’ll make it right. I’ll support both kids. Financially. Emotionally. Whatever they need.”
“And their mothers?”
He looked at me.
“I want to be with you, Emily. I want us to try. For him.”
He nodded at the baby.
“Ryan—”
“Just think about it. Don’t answer now. You’re exhausted. You just had a baby. But please. Don’t write us off completely. I’ll do anything. Therapy. Whatever it takes.”
Before I could answer, there was commotion in the hallway.
Shouting.
A woman’s voice.
Vanessa.
“I know he’s in there! Ryan!”
Ryan closed his eyes.
“For God’s sake,” Margaret muttered.
The door burst open.
Vanessa stood there.
Breathless.
Her face streaked with tears.
Behind her, a security guard was trying to calm her.
“Ma’am, you can’t go in there—”
Vanessa ignored him.
Her eyes locked on Ryan.
Holding our son.
“There you are,” she said. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. We need to talk. Now.”
“Vanessa, not now,” Ryan said. “Please. Can’t you see what’s happening?”
“I see exactly what’s happening,” she said. “You’re playing happy family with her while my baby and I wait in the wings like an afterthought.”
She stepped closer to the bed.
The security guard followed.
“Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Just one minute,” she said to him. Then to Ryan: “You told me you’d be there for us. That you’d take care of us. But the second she goes into labor, you forget I exist?”
“Vanessa, I just had a son,” Ryan said. “Can we please do this tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow?” She laughed. It was an ugly sound. “Tomorrow you’ll have another excuse. And then another. Until our daughter is born and you’re still too busy playing daddy to her son to care about us.”
She looked at me.
“Did he tell you he picked out a name for her? Lily. He said he always wanted a little girl named Lily.”
My chest tightened.
Ryan had told me the same thing.
That if we ever had a daughter, he wanted to name her Lily.
I looked at him.
“Is that true?”
He didn’t answer.
Vanessa kept going.
“Did he tell you he’s been paying my rent for four months? That he bought all the furniture for the nursery? That he was supposed to move in with me full-time next week?”
Ryan stood up.
Carefully handed the baby back to me.
“Vanessa, outside. Now.”
“Why? Scared she’ll hear more of your lies?”
“I’m not scared. I’m done. Both of you deserve better than this. Let’s go outside and talk like adults.”
Vanessa hesitated.
Then she nodded.
They walked out.
The security guard followed.
Margaret closed the door.
Leaned against it.
“Lily,” I said quietly. “He wanted to name our daughter Lily.”
Margaret came to my side.
“Ryan has always been selfish. Always. His father was the same way. I thought… I hoped he’d be different.”
She stroked the baby’s cheek.
“What are you going to do, honey?”
I looked at my son.
Perfect.
Innocent.
Already so loved.
“I’m going to raise my son,” I said. “With or without his father.”
I handed the baby to Margaret.
“Hold him for a second?”
“Of course.”
I grabbed my phone.
Opened the notes app.
Started typing.
A list.
Everything I needed to do.
Lawyer.
House.
Bank accounts.
Car titles.
Insurance.
Custody.
Child support.
The list grew longer with every minute.
By the time Ryan came back, I had a plan.
He walked in alone.
Slumped against the door.
“Well?” Margaret asked.
“I told her,” he said. “I’m not moving in. I’m not leaving Emily. I’ll support her and the baby. But that’s it.”
I looked at him.
“You’re not staying either, Ryan.”
He pushed off the door.
“Emily—”
“I meant what I said before. I don’t want you here. Not tonight. Not ever. We’re done.”
“Emily, please. Just give me a chance to—”
“You had seven months of chances. You used every single one of them to lie to me. To her. To everyone.”
I handed him the list I’d typed.
“I want a divorce. I want full custody. I want the house. I want you to pay child support. And I want you to tell your daughter about her brother the day she’s old enough to understand. No more secrets. Ever.”
He read the list.
His hands were shaking.
“Full custody? Emily, no. I’m his father. I have rights.”
“You forfeited those rights when you got another woman pregnant three months after I did.”
“That’s not how the law works.”
“Then we’ll let a judge decide. But I promise you this, Ryan. Every text. Every picture. Every lie you told Vanessa about me? I’m going to show all of it to the court. I’m going to make sure every single person in that courtroom knows exactly what kind of man you are.”
He stared at me.
For a long moment, I thought he’d fight.
Then his shoulders slumped.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Okay. You can have the house. Full custody—joint legal, but you have primary. I’ll pay whatever child support the court says. I’ll tell Lily about her brother. I’ll do whatever you want, Emily. Just… don’t take my son completely away from me.”
I studied his face.
For the first time all day, I thought he was telling the truth.
“One weekend a month,” I said. “No overnights until he’s older. And you tell Vanessa everything. No more lies to her either. She deserves that much.”
He nodded.
“I will. Tonight.”
“Good. Now go.”
He walked to the bed.
Leaned down to kiss the baby’s forehead.
“Daddy loves you,” he whispered. “Never forget that.”
Then he looked at me.
“I really am sorry, Emily. For everything.”
He walked out.
The door clicked shut.
Margaret let out a long breath.
“Well. That was… something.”
I looked at my son.
Sleeping peacefully.
Blissfully unaware that his family had just been torn apart.
“I need you to do something for me, Margaret.”
“Anything, honey.”
“Call my parents. Tell them they have a grandson. And tell them… tell them they need to come get me. As soon as possible.”
She squeezed my hand.
“Consider it done.”
She left to make the call.
I was alone with my son again.
I traced his tiny features with my finger.
His nose.
His chin.
Ryan’s features.
May you like
But his eyes… when he opened them, they were mine.
“We’re going to be okay,” I whispered to him. “Just you and me. We’re going to be just fine.”
